Diving into that pool of thy SELF has me..
...all sorts of feelings. Fear seems to be the leading one. I feel it in my bones and I am desperate to release that wound up energy. Ok, Let me back up..
These last 2 years, with everything that is going on, my white privileged booty went to work. First, making masks, and then working on my own views; de-learning and educating myself on systemic racism, politics, where I get my news from, humanity and what is actually happening in the friggin world. It had me all crashing and burning and learning and rebirthing and then boom:
Kt 2.o has arrived. I am beyond grateful that tornado happened because if it weren't for it, my privileged ass may have taken longer to understand more of how the world works and how people are being treated. I cannot unsee and unlearn the truth, now.
After that I started to get back to some art..
Burning Man kinda art. It was on for 2020- until it wasn't and once 2021 was canceled, us unicorns got together and thought that for sure they wouldn't go 2 years in a row would they?? My memory recalls that we started to just go for it and gather our resources like 2022 was on! God, I am so glad we started when we did! Looking back now, It would have been bananas if we didn't. We needed all the time we could get and also, now looking back, it was my excuse for not doing "Me". Pretty occupied with all things Charlie and also LOVING it. Leading is fun, and leading a creative project is next level. I was hella confident and I had big plans ~
and...... it all come thru! We did it! (If you want to hear more about that, go to my facebook and hear all the crazy stories and such.) Charlie looked HAWT and made it out every night and it took a big chunk of awesomeness out of my life <3 Which now that it is his last year and now that most of the dust is settled, I can close that chapter and continue on with my passions and other life purpose projects.
Which is exciting, but also what I have been fearing. Fear of success, and of actually doing it! It being what I see what I want to do, give, be in this life. Sooooo I am conquering it by facing it and just doing it. . .
Luckily, I already have a project in store ~ www.instagram.com/my.body.me/ ~and now that I have turned my frown upside-down, acknowledging that I did in fact lose some of my joy in this art, I am going back to the way I used to be~ with experience and equipment, and I have no doubt I will refill my cups with joy once again. I have already been feeling so inspired and motivated!
And even before my ART, I need to take care of myself. Mentally and physically, spiritually and socially. That has been a big learn for me recently. I tell ya, I may have gotten a little lost there but I am finding me, and just gotta be honest and do it in my time.
One thing at a time
I got this. <3
Take care of you- dont get lost like me and do what I did- keep on following that joy and ya know, its ok if you get lost too, because like me, you will be able to find it again.
(at least I hope <3 I am hopeful for us all)
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